I Don’t Want to Be a Slutty Pumpkin

Halloween is fast approaching. As someone who writes sort of semi-spooky, definitely weird and (hopefully) funny fiction, it’s a holiday I really love in theory. It’s a day to pull out your geek and let it fly free. A day to put on whatever character you like and then… you get CANDY!!! So, yeah. I’m pretty happy with it.

In theory.

Because the thing is that in the past few years, okay the past decade or more, I feel like the awesome quality of Halloween has been swept away a little. Okay a lot. Especially for women. See, it used to be I could buy a costume and be a witch or a sailor or a movie character or a zombie or whatever I wanted to be. Now, I can still buy all those things, but only in the slutty variety. As an adult woman, I can be a witch, but only a slutty witch. Or a slutty sailor. Or a slutty movie character. Or a slutty zombie. A. Slutty. Zombie.

So I guess the only choice left anymore is to make your own costume if you don’t want to be the sexy version of something. But I suck at making things. My creativity apparently only has one direction. And so I am left with the slutty pumpkin:

Which is not an option for me. And yes, that is a reference to How I Met Your Mother. Sorry, I like that show. Although Katie Holmes’s costume wasn’t actually slutty. So she must have made it herself.

What about you guys? Are you tired of the sexification of every female costume in HalloweenLand?


  • Nicole

    I have just had the exact, same conversation with my bf and sister. I’m really struggling to find anything that suits my 33 year old housewife lifestyle. If the outfits aren’t tarty, they’re frumpy, why is there no happy medium ?
    What’s even worse are the outfits advertised for ‘teens’ !! My 11 year old daughter is very tall and wants to be something a little more grown up this year but unless I make her something myself she’s going to be a very big Disney princess because the alternative is to be a slutty underage witch/fairy/zombie/queen of hearts/schoolgirl (wtf??) !!!
    (Sorry about the wtf !!!)
    Finding a costume this year is driving me nuts !! I suppose we could all be cats !!!

  • Though, there’s nothing cooler than spending time on your costume and making it from scratch. I went as a castaway from Survivor, you know, when it was a cool thing to do. Made the immunity idols (statue and necklace) out of papier mache, walked around with a torch and won second place. I lost to a mummy of all things but I can ignore that and be proud that I still have an awesome costume in my closet.

  • I totally understand where you’re coming from. I really don’t know what I want to dress up as. I’m thinking something steampunk for this year.

  • Jessi

    I agree wholeheartedly! I steer away from the “slutty” costumes because it just doesn’t suit me. Not every woman out there wants to prance around in her underwear. Plus, it’s freaking cold on Halloween nine times out of 10! lol I try to make my own costumes, or go with a more makeup focused theme instead of buying a pre-made costume somewhere.